“I don’t know if I’ve actually truly been in love at this point,” Malik said during the interview, while also opening up about his daughter Khai, who he shares with Gigi Hadid.
Zayn Malik is giving fans a rare look at his relationships and music career in a candid new interview.
While appearing on The Zach Sang Show, Malik appeared to reflect on his relationship with Gigi Hadid and their daughter, Khai, as well as his time in One Direction. Though Malik didn’t mention the super model by name, he opened up about singing about the end of a relationship on his upcoming album, Room Under the Stars.
“The first song that I wrote on the record was ‘Alienated,’ and it was towards the end of my relationship. Like when me and my ex were breaking up,” Malik explained. “So there’s the heavy narrative of the kinds of things I was going through mentally in that situation and what I was thinking and how I was feeling.”
It’s not the only song that sees the 31-year-old hitmaker unpack their breakup. Malik also dissects the pair’s relationship on the track, “How It Feels.”
“I think in that song specifically I’m talking about not being able to explain to the person that you’re in love with why it is that you necessarily can’t be the best version of the partner you want to be. And that’s a really sad thing,” he shared, noting that he “wasn’t at that place” where he could have been that person.
Malik said he’s since “moved on” and found closure in the relationship, adding that there were no thoughts about reconciling after their on-and-off love affair. “I don’t know if I’ve actually truly been in love at this point,” Malik said while looking back on the breakup.
The former boy band member and Hadid first got together in 2015 but broke up in 2018. The pair would later reconcile just months later, only to break up again in 2019 and get back together in early 2020. In April of that year, they announced that they were expecting their first child together. Malik and Hadid would go on to welcome daughter, Khai, in September 2020, but a reported rift between the singer and Hadid’s mother, Yolanda, drove the couple apart.
These days, Malik said the pair are in a good place, with the focus of their relationship on successfully co-parenting Khai.
While the couple have largely kept their daughter out of the spotlight, they have each shared small glimpses into the toddler’s life, with Malik telling Sang that Khai was developing musical talent.
“She can play a little bit. She’s not like expert level, but she’s got a bit of rhythm when she’s hitting the drums. I can tell that she definitely can develop that into something,” Malik shared, before attributing some of Khai’s musical chops to her model mom. “Her mom was actually really good at Guitar Hero on the drums. I was like, ‘Maybe she got that from her mom.’ Cuz I was diabolical at it, and G used to beat me all the time. I used to be like, ‘What the f–k. I’m the musician, and she beats me at this game.’ But Khai’s got that too.”
Malik, who rose to fame in the mid 2000’s with One Direction, also shared some of the frustrations he had during his time with the group, including the lack of individuality he was allegedly able to express as part of a boy band.
“I was in a five-part band where it was, you know, constant like opinions over opinions. This is what you want to do, and this is what we want to do. So it was hard to really show that individuality and show who you were. Not due to anybody’s fault, just circumstantial. That’s the way it was,” Malik reflected.
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He would go on to depart the band in 2015, and while he’s grateful for the growth he’s had as an artist since going solo, Malik said he still has some regrets about his time in the group.
“The one thing I always feel bad about when I look back over my life is not enjoying the band enough,” Malik said. “I feel like I just took things too seriously. I’m grateful that I’m able to be happier now. I can actually enjoy things and own my own perspective a bit. You know, like glass half full versus it being half empty. That’s my choice. I get to decide what that is.”
He continued, “I didn’t understand the importance of just trying to be happy. I had this teen angst thing going on, a chip on my shoulder where I’m like, “It’s really cool to just be moody as f–k all the time.'”